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Nationally syndicated columnist and author Amy Alkon (“I See Rude People”) is featured in over 100 newspapers across the U.S., including the Northern Express in Traverse City. The ‘Advice Goddess’ will kick off the 2010 TC National Writers Series next Thursday, February 11 with an intimate on-stage discussion with hosts Doug & Anne Stanton, as well as an interactive audience Q&A and post-event dinner reception. We caught up with Amy to discuss her upcoming appearance in Traverse City, her famous advice column and why growing up in Michigan inspired her to take a stance against all things rude.

Traverse City National Writers Series: You were born and raised here in Michigan, as TCNWS founder Doug Stanton was. Doug has spoken about the inspiration for the Writers Series stemming from an encounter he had with Jim Harrison in TC when he was younger, which encouraged him to pursue his writing career. Did you know early on you wanted to be a writer, and how did growing up in Michigan inform your writing sensibilities?


Amy Alkon: I’ve always written, but I didn’t consider myself to be a writer because I didn’t understand the writing process. I thought you just wrote “Once upon a time…” and a book flowed from there. I didn’t understand that writing actually means rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. That’s why it’s so important for writers to have role models. You learn the real stuff of writing that way.

I wrote a column for my high school newspaper, which I enjoyed and which won some awards. I didn’t think about it in terms of a career at first – I just couldn’t do anything else. I’m only good at six things, and writing is one of them. But growing up here informed my sensibilities in that people in Michigan tend to be decent people. That’s what I’m used to. And that’s why I get upset now when I encounter rude people.

TCNWS: Speaking of that, let’s talk about your new book – “I See Rude People” – which just recently came out. What was your inspiration for that project? Are we in fact becoming ruder as a society?

Amy: I get so mad at rude people, and there were enough stories about my experiences with that that it kind of came together naturally. I take the science behind what I write very seriously – there’s science behind my column, even though it’s written as humor. So I’m attending these anthropology conferences, and I started hearing about the myth of altruism and cooperation and concepts like the Prisoner’s Dilemma. With the book, I used research on everything from anthropology to economics to figure out why people are rude in a way that no one’s ever done before.

What it comes down to is that we essentially live in societies that are too big for our brains. Research has shown that our brains function best in small societies, under 150 people, without needing a rigid authority figure. That’s a self-policing group. You have relationships with each person, and if you’re rude or doing something bad, there’s a price – you can get kicked off the island, so to speak.

Now, however, we’ve lost that small group size, which came with these built-in social constraints. So people can be rude without accountability. In order to fix the problem, I talk about ways to impose new constraints using technology, the Internet, etc., to essentially shame people out of their rudeness. I didn’t write this book because I have perfect manners – I know where I’m bad, and I’m trying to be better. But we can all recognize this problem of rudeness and make an effort to start treating strangers more like neighbors.

TCNWS: You first started writing a column called “Ask Amy Alkon” in the New York Daily News. How did that lead to the “Advice Goddess” column?

Amy: The Dayton City Paper was the first one to buy my syndicated column. My friend suggested “Amy Alkon: Opinionated Bitch” for a title, but I figured some newspapers wouldn’t carry that. I needed a name fast, and that’s where the “Advice Goddess” came in.

The Northern Express in Traverse City was the second newspaper to buy my column, actually. I love them there – they’re the nicest people.

TCNWS: How long did it take you to develop the characteristic ‘Amy’ voice that your column is known for – that mix of humor and sarcasm and tough love?

Amy: That’s just who I am. I’m not sappy; the column is actually how I think and talk. That visual humor is how my brain works. I entertain myself standing in lines at the store by thinking this way. I had a hard time growing up, and I think that’s given me a special affinity for all these people on the fringes of society.

TCNWS: What’s up next for you? Do you plan to keep on being a columnist, and are there any other books in the works?

Amy: I love writing my column. My publisher wants another book, so I’m figuring out what that will be. The column is what I do first and everything else is adjunct to that. I don’t really want to ever stop doing it – I just want to make more money at it. (laughs)


There have been some talks for radio and TV, things like that. I like to say that I have more failed TV deals than anyone in Hollywood. Inevitably, I’ll get offered a deal, and then someone gets fired or dies or the company folds. I’ve learned you can never rely on Hollywood as anything but a source of amusement, and possibly contempt.

TCNWS: You’ll be kicking off the Writers Series next Thursday here in Traverse City. What are you looking forward to about the event?

Amy: I came up to Traverse City every summer as a child! I’m really looking forward to it. There were some people in high school who were actually nice to me, so I hope they’ll come. I’m from the Detroit suburbs, and I remember when we used to drive up and pass Paul Bunyon in Grayling, we’d get so excited, because we knew we were almost to Traverse City.

In terms of what people can expect from the event: I’m going to do a funny show. And you can ask me anything you want. Unless something is a secret I’ve sworn not to tell, I will say just about anything to anyone. I promise I won’t bore you!

Amy Alkon will be appearing at the City Opera House next Thursday, February 11.